Editor Dog Hard at Work

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Written by Brendan O’Meara

We all have editors and some of those editors are dogs. Sure, Jack, my uber-fixated, medicated, mentally troubled Jack Russel mix doesn’t actually read anything, but his ever-looming presence makes him just about as irritating as some editors I’ve had. Exhibit A:

The Stare. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. I’m not looking at you. I’m not looking at you. I’m not looking at you.

Which is all well and good, but those eyes weigh on you. Soon, even when he’s fallen asleep, I still see him. There. Staring. Judging.

The Lounge. Still staring at you, but I’m in a posture that allows for maximum stamina. I can stare you for hours in this position.

Most dogs sleep their days away. This is the case with my lab mix, Smarty. He’s downstairs right now. Sleeping. Couldn’t be bothered with whatever-it-is-I-do. Which, right now, is a useless recounting of a dog getting in my cage. Naturally, under the stress of such boring eyes, it becomes more intense. Like, “You best get your shit DONE! or I’m telling steady-paycheck-Mom.”

All Business. Your ass better get a move on. Stop blogging.

Fine! Fine! I’ll stop blogging and work on, shit, what am I working on? A new book? A magazine piece? Both. Jack, no! Not the throat!

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