self doubt – Home of The Creative Nonfiction Podcast

How Not to Write a Book

By Brendan O’Meara

Above is a picture of my daily word count.

Things are going great.

Usually after you have a discussion with your book editor, you have a clearer sense of what you’re doing. Energy. Gusto. I spoke with my editor on June 28. As you can tell, I haven’t written a word since. In fact, I’ve been sad. Like, I-can’t-face-the-day sad.

POV. POV. POV. POV. POV.

What’s my point of view in this biography? My whole concept — my instinct —was to just tell a good story with newer details from a longer lens. That’s not enough. Biographers must imbue the story with something that makes it wholly unique, looking askance at the central figure, even casting judgement. “As the biographer, you have your finger on the scale,” my very astute and downright brilliant editor told me.

I never knew creative block until this moment. I cannot crack this code of how to frame the book in a way that feels fresh and relevant. My interviews are falling flat because I’m running out of things to talk about. I don’t know how to bring fresh juice to these conversations. I thought building up certain “tent pole” moments would be exciting and great but … I don’t think so anymore.

I had a set of instincts going into this project and they’ve been cut off at the knees. And, at this writing, I have 8.5 to complete the reporting, the research, and the writing. As I wrote that sentence, my stomach dropped into my shoes.

Why am I writing this? What value-add is this for you? I can’t say there is any except a great lyric from Metallica’s “King Nothing”:

Careful what you wish,
You might regret it
Careful what you wish,
You just might get it

I have a pal who has told me just to explain it now and write it later. My interpretation is to merely get things down on paper and worry about the sheen later, worry about the connective tissue later. Don’t worry so much about meaning but write the islands. Write out of chronological order.

Ultimately, this the Pressfieldian “Resistance” surfacing from the subterranean bowels of the lizard brain.

A mantra of sorts has helped me: Slow and steady. Deliberate focus.

Slow is fast. Drip by drip.

Compliment yourself

Seth Godin has written that, as freelancers, we’re our worst boss.

We wouldn’t tolerate a boss who talks to us the way we talk to ourselves.

Meichi Ng, the brilliant cartoonist behind Barely Functional Adult, said,

I think I still don’t have a bulletproof way to silence that voice. But I try to focus on what friends told me. I try to focus on what I know to be true. That might be a bit more positive than what I’m thinking about at the time. And then, if anything, I just talked to friends about it. And I feel like it’s always a good reality check to have someone else tell you what they know about you as opposed to you kind of spiraling into darkness.

Maybe look at your work, imagine it being done by an employee, and imagine giving that employee a figurative pat on the back. It always feels good when the boss recognizes your work. So recognize it in yourself.

Episode 168: Rachel Dougherty — Nonfiction for Kids, Day Jobs, and Finding Confidence

“My writing life is being surrounded by 15 half-empty coffee cups which I keep dipping my paint brush into accidentally.” —Rachel Dougherty (@racheldoughertybooks)

I don’t have kids, but I love the idea of writing nonfiction books for kids. If that’s your jam, or a jam worth undertaking, then Rachel Dougherty is going to Blow. Your. Mind.

This was a fun episode where we talk about day jobs, confidence (or a lack thereof), finding time to do work that matters, and so much more.

Rachel is the author and illustrator of The Secret Engineer: How Emily Roebling Built the Brooklyn Bridge. She’s a Philadelphia-based illustrator, children’s author, and lifelong knowledge-hunter. She works in acrylic paint, ink, and pencil smudges, using humor and color to inspire curious young minds. Rachel is passionate about US history, scruffy little dogs, and board games. [I didn’t ask her about board games. I wish I had.]

Listen, social media is a lousy way to promote a podcast, but it’s a great place to keep the conversation going. I hope I’ve made something worth sharing, so let’s keep it up on Twitter @CNFPod, Instagram @cnfpod, and Facebook @CNFPodcast. Tag me and the show and I’ll jump in the fire.

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