Watch Your Words

By Brendan O’Meara

I’ve kept a journal for over 20 years. I can’t envision a time without one. I recommend it if you don’t.

But something happens if you’re being honest. Oftentimes, you write down nasty stuff. Nasty self commentary. The kind that reeks and stinks. You don’t want to lie to your journal! If you can’t be honest with your journal, than where can you?

But what if you start believing the bile you’ve habitually spilled into your journals? What you if instead of bloodletting, you imprint a negative story that effectively weighs you down with iron boots?

James Victore in his wonderful book Feck Perfuction writes:

Stop deprecating all over yourself.

We pre-crap on ourselves so others won’t. We joke about how fat we are while trying on new clothes, or pooh-pooh our talents before sharing our talent. … Self-deprecation is healthy when it means being humble or witty, but continually calling yourself a loser becomes self-sabotage. … Words have power. The problem with repeating negative mantras to yourself is that you start to believe them. Then others believe them. Watch your words.

Negative self-talk has ruined the past 20 years of my life and I’m working on that. I’ve noticed that changing my language in my journals has helped. But instead of lamenting over something and dwelling and wallowing, I reframe it as a gift. Nobody listens to my podcast? Great, I can make it better. Got another rejection? That’s an opportunity to improve. Drank too many beers and ate too much cake? Today’s a new day to eat clean and drink water and get back on the path..

Point is every obstacle is an opportunity. And the way we frame it in private will manifest in public.

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